March 10th, 2010
Today I met the smartest PE teacher I have ever met. I know that that statement in itself sounds redundant, as the old saying goes “Those who can’t do, teach. Those who can’t teach, teach PE” but he had a plan for his life, one which he was living with great vigour and was happy to share with those who would listen.
The plan went like this:
Every pay date he would put 20% of his pay into a separate account which could not be accessed. He would work at a school for five years teaching quite happily but then every five years he would take a year off, open that account and live off a full years salary for a year. In that year he could do whatever he wanted, even work if he wanted, but more often than not he would take the money and relax. Here was the smartest PE teacher I had ever met.
The plan is simple. Instead of living within your means, live just below it. Too many people even after receiving a pay rise still find themselves at the end of their pay week completely broke and looking back on what they spent their money on and finding they have regretted their purchases.
Another thing I noticed about him was that he was the youngest looking 57 year old I had ever met. He still had the passion to teach and had not allowed the years of putting up with teenagers, parents and other teachers crap wear him down.
This plan might not work for everyone but it was working for him. Here was a man who was taking control of his life and doing what he wanted to do instead of what everyone expected of him. He is still able to do all the things a man on a full wage is able to do, like looking after his family, paying the bills and going on holiday, but every five years he gets what can’t be bought…freedom.
Image by MigRodz (flickr)
Tags: family, freedom, future, plan
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March 10th, 2010
I find it hard to listen.
I didn’t come to this realisation easily. It was only recently, in fact, that I accepted the above statement. I was reading through a workbook we were given at the Catholic Marriage Education Services course last weekend.
From the book (which they got from somewhere else):
When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice; you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way; you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem; you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen!
All I asked was that you listen, not talk or do – just hear me.
Advice is cheap and I can do for myself; I’m not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself; you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But,
when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling. And, when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.
So please listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn; And I’ll listen to you.
[I changed some punctuation and emphasis, but it's essentially the same. There are many versions on the internet]
So yesterday I practised when Emma was telling me about how she felt. I found it really difficult to just accept what she was saying and respond in kind. I’m not sure how the whole thing was received and problaby won’t be for a few days or weeks, but I’m going to give it more time.
Obviously I need more practise!
Image by fofurasfelinas (flickr).
Tags: learning, listening, practise
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March 5th, 2010
Ben has been giving me the following advice for a long time now and it has been incredibly difficult for me to understand let alone apply. It wasn’t until two days ago when I had an awful lesson with one of my classes that I realised the truth behind this advice and how applicable this advice was to my life. I could finally start to take the first steps to apply it.
These kids I was teaching had no comprehension of taking control of their lives. They were content with blaming all their misfortune on others leaving them to feel guilt free. They had no direction, no understanding of what a gift they had been given. I started dispensing the following advice, advice that Ben had given me, and at the moment it started to click for them it also clicked for me.
The only person in this world who can change your life is you. Everything that happens to you in your life is a direct result of a choice you made. Think about what power this realisation can hold for you. You have the power to change your life into something you can be proud of.
1. Who am I?
2. What is important to me?
3. What do I want to do with my life?
If you can answer these three questions with conviction then you can start to change your life. you can begin to live the life you want to live, instead of the life you believe you are expected to live.
Nothing is impossible.
Take the time to reflect on these three questions. What would your answers be?
Within the classroom the kids started to think that this was another “What do you want to be when you grow up” lessons. They were reluctant until they started thinking beyond the classroom walls. It was interesting to hear what real dreams they have for their lives. Dreams beyond “I want to be a mechanic”. There were honest thoughts coming out and they stopped thinking about what they thought I wanted to hear and concentrated more on what they wanted to say. It was a wonderful breakthrough.
Image by Paolo Margari (flickr)
Tags: achievements, dreams, expectations, growing up, learning, teaching
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March 2nd, 2010
It has been a long debate inside my little head, long before I got pregnant in the first place, of whether it is possible to achieve all the things you want to do in your life at the time in your life that you want to achieve them.
At the moment I am torn between many things, two of which are the desire to go travelling and the desire to have a baby.
I’m pathetic! If you saw me at the moment you would probably want to slap me I am so disgusting. I have turned into one of those women who can’t walk past a baby (or even baby socks if we really want to get down to it) without making a “Ahhh isn’t it cute!” noise. I am that annoying woman who insists on holding strangers babies at dinner parties and barbeques. When it comes down to it I really just want a baby of my own.
On the other hand though I want to travel. I read lonely planet books like magazines, I envy Sally’s blog of her travels, I constantly put imaginary dates and destinations into internet flight centre search engines. I just want to travel. Throw on a backpack and go and see the world.
But how can I fulfill both desires? The want to have a baby right now and the want to see the world right now.
When it comes down to it really I’m just impatient and I want everything now. Before babies and before travelling I need to first learn patience.
Tags: patience, travelling
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March 2nd, 2010
After spending the last 10 days focusing on training camp at all costs, I have returned to work. I am pleased to report that nothing seems to have changed. How weird. I was almost completely non-contactable and the company didn’t self combust.
I guess this happens all the time. It must be the reason people spend so much of their time working at work.
You’re all mad, you know. Absolutely mad.
I really liked the focus I maintained while at training camp. Train hard. Maintain energy. Avoid major damage. At the end of it all there was a big pay off, one I hope to build on as the next year progresses. It’s all so different to work!
Average attention. Average effort. Average payoff.
Something must be done!
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February 23rd, 2010
For those who don’t know Ben does a form of martial arts called Aikido and at the moment he is very busy training twice a day as the Aikido club he belongs to has visitors from Japan over teaching them lots of new cool ways to kill someone with their pinky finger (at least that is my understanding of it).
Needless to say Ben has been quite exhausted and sore the past few days. This morning Ben toddled off to training at 5am. When I woke at 7am I found a ripped open packet of pain killers on the counter amongst a whole pile of dirty dishes from the past few days. I took the hint that he was sore and tired again so grabbed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher, picked his dirty clothes up off the floor and put them in the dirty clothes basket and fed the cats so he wouldn’t have to worry when he got home.
It was very quick and easy for me to do these things but it helped me to turn what was starting to look like a bad day into a good day. I feel good when I can help out others especially when it is someone who will appreciate it, like Ben. I think also I secretly want to be a housewife cause this sort of stuff always cheers me up, silly but true.
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February 22nd, 2010
Today was a rough day. I had woken up late completely exhausted. In my bed was a snuggled up little cat and all I could think was how nice it would be to stay here for the rest of the day but I couldn’t. I had to get up.
I got to school late and had to enter the staff meeting late, to which the principal throw a very dirty look at me. I was getting off to a flying start. I was then ignored by the deputy principal who I have been trying to chase up for a week now about having an induction to the school. I have been working there for three weeks now and still have not had an induction, something which is greatly concerning me because I still don’t know how the school is run, what resources are available or even what to do if I need to call in sick.
I then taught for two periods the most disorganized and uninspired lessons I have ever taught. If I’m not motivated to be at school it often shows in my teaching as it would for anyone in any occupation. I felt like crap for doing this. I like teaching and I like teaching good lessons but these were just terrible.
I then got back to my office to find a message on my phone from Western Ultrasound. They wanted to know why I hadn’t come in for my ultrasound that morning. An appointment I had asked Ben to cancel over a month ago and which he assured me he had. As soon as I heard the message I burst into tears.
My mind went into overdrive thinking about how far along I would be by now, how big my tummy would be, what I would be able to see on the ultrasound, the sex of the baby, finally having a picture of the baby to show everyone, everything to do with the baby and the expectations of having a baby came flooding back and I couldn’t handle it.
All I wanted to do was run away and get back into bed with that little cat from the morning. Forget what had happened and start the day again.
I hate these little things popping up all the time and wonder when they will all stop because on days like this it really is too much to handle.
Tags: crying, difficult, hard, sad, tough, ultrasound
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February 19th, 2010
Just a funny story.
I teach a year eleven English class of low ability students, mostly boys. Not only low ability but low motivation too. I had given the boys a worksheet to complete for an assessment something which they furiously worked on and were somewhat proud of. I was surprised that they were actually interested in this so when a student asked for me to read his work and check if it was okay I was happy to oblige.
It was good and I told him exactly that “It’s good.” to which he replied “Good? Just good or is it sex on a page good?” without missing a beat one of the boys at the back of the room piped up with “Well really it depends who you are having sex with. I mean if it’s with your mum then that is one shit piece of work you are handing up.”
So there I was with two boys who have just said two very funny things and I’m not supposed to laugh at either of them. I tried so hard to tell them off for inappropriate language but my face gave it away. It was funny. It was incredibly witty too for boys like this.
So now I am proposing a new method of grading writing. What level would you give this?
For the record the boys work was “Sex on a page with his hot sister level.” Looks good until you go into the details then it gets sketchy.
Just goes to show that even in the most unlikely of places, you can have a laugh and be surprised.
Image by this is your brain on lithium (flickr)
Tags: funny, teaching
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February 15th, 2010
This morning was so very, very funny. Possibly not at the time, but afterwards…(cue wobbly transition to The Past).
Emma has made arrangements to catch public transport to work. This is great! A 45 minute air-conditioned pre-work siesta with a book. Sounds delicious, no? So off she trots, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (v. nice tail, actually) and I return to my breakfast delights.
Five minutes later the front door reefs open and bangs close. My little grey fox is mumble grumbling something and I get the idea that something has gone wrong. The bus is right there! The bus stop is right out the front of our house, so I am a little surprised that she missed it (or was in the process of missing it).
The stupid bus broke down!
The stupid bus broke down and look where it broke down! Right outside the house, so I can’t even drive to work.
I offer to let her take my car to work (it’s parked out back) and that kind of works, but it’s not until she comes upstairs that I can see her face.
How can I compete when the world is throwing things like THAT at me? I mean, how do you even arrange for the a bus to break down in your driveway for exactly enough time for you to walk back up the drive, turn around to point out the broken bus AS.. IT… DRIVES AWAY!!
The bus had recovered and was pulling away as she was saying this to me. The look of total disbelief on her face was priceless.
I’m sorry, baby, I just had to share this one. You did a great job of recovering and getting to work, but it was SO funny at the time. Okay, It was funny to me.
Image by JonasPhoto (Flickr).
Tags: adversity, funny, recovery
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February 15th, 2010
Ben and I had a conversation on the weekend about when we are going to try again to have a baby. What conclusion did we come to? That there is no right time for us.
One suggestion was that we wait a year. This would give us a chance to save some money, organise our houses a little better for having a baby, go on holiday and do the travelling we want to do before we start having babies (not that we are going to suddenly stop holidaying but it is a little difficult 
to do things like skiing with a belly the size of a pig). Waiting will also afford us, and especially me, the time to come to terms with the loss of the last baby and take some time to emotionally heal. I am still hitting those puddles of goo, not as often as before but they are still there.
Another suggestion was to start trying again after the wedding. A compromise of sorts between trying again immediately and waiting a year. One of the reasons we are getting married is because we wanted to raise children together and create a family. It means a lot more to me to be married before we start having babies. It also means I won’t have to worry about not fitting in the wedding dress, not being able to drink at the wedding or what I can and can’t eat. I will be able to relax and enjoy the day.
The last suggestion was to try again straight away. I guess I am only in favour of this option because it would help to ease my mind. I feel at times that I have failed. that losing the baby is somehow a reflection of my ability as a parent. By becoming pregnant again, as silly as this sounds, would make me feel like I am able to be a mother. I am impatient and this option means I don’t have to wait.
There is no right time to start trying again. We’ll figure it out soon enough and be ready to celebrate being pregnant all over again.
Image by whatmegsaid (flickr)
Tags: choices, pregnant, trying again, wedding
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Another thing I noticed about him was that he was the youngest looking 57 year old I had ever met. He still had the passion to teach and had not allowed the years of putting up with teenagers, parents and other teachers crap wear him down.
