Archive for November, 2009
I am not ashamed
Yesterday I was talking with Emma’s flatmate about when we are “supposed” to make the announcement to the rest of the family and the reasons why we should wait until the 12th week.
Why can’t we tell them now?
The answer, so far, has been: So many things can go wrong in the first 12 weeks that you shouldn’t say anything in case you lose the baby. That way we can quietly weep in the corner without people asking her how the baby is going.
Well, that’s stupid. If we lose the baby we will be very sad. Having people ask about the baby will not make it worse, it will allow us to tell them what happened, so that we can work through it. Our family and close friends will know in the end anyway, why try to hide it and make ourselves feel dirty? Let’s celebrate this momentus occaison and live it to the maximum!
I’m not ashamed of this pregnancy. I’m damn proud in fact!
Sure, I have no firm idea on exactly what I need to do, but I’m working it out. So is Emma. We both really really want to share this with our families; it’s a stupendously amazing time for us; and don’t forget scarey too!
So, in the spirit of not living in fear, we’re going to tell our parents tomorrow.
I wonder how they’ll take it?
Image by Bill Barber (Flickr).
While secretly reading the internet at work (I had reached my Stupidity limit and needed to take time out) I came across this article about How To Focus On What Truly Matters which is becoming more and more important to me these days. The clarity of the announcement moment has worn off slightly and while I still view the world differently, I realise that my actions have not changed all that much.
I am able to choose what is important to me right now and that is a good thing, but I haven’t put any thought into what my life will be like in 10 years.
In 10 years time, I’ll have a 9 year old! Maybe an 8 year old too!
The gravity of the situation is only now starting to sink in. The joy and excitement too.
It feels strange to be making decisions about another person’s life when I have only recently learned how to do it for myself though. So, for the next week, I will spend the first 30 minutes of each day thinking about what truly matters and then do something about it. I’ll post up the results and the end of the week and revise them monthly, to keep things current.
It seems like the least I can do for my kid(s).
Image by Chris Runoff (Flickr).
How long have I been thinking about having children? Almost three years, at least. How can I say that? Because of the car I drive.
On the way to work this morning I was thinking about the differences between how Emma and I relate to our families. Emma’s is pretty close knit (from what I can see) and mine is basically the opposite. I’m not particularly worried about the differences at the moment, although I believe that will change as B-Day draws closer.
How will our two family styles interact? Hard to tell now, but it will be interesting to find out. I have a feeling I will grow closer to mine, largely because I will have something to talk to them about (the baby). I don’t really have much to say to them, most of the time. I just don’t know what would interest them that doesn’t frustrate me at the same time.
Most of the things I do don’t seem to “fit” with their ideas of how things should be. At least, that’s the impression that I get. I am aware that my perceptions of what’s actually happening, when family is involved, is quite skewed, so I am working on not taking everything to heart straight away.
I AM looking forward to improoving the current relationship dynamics I have with my family. I’ve been working on it for a while now and had mixed results. Now we will be able to accelerate the process.
It’s weird being a parent (to be) though.
Now this has been bothering me for a while, and I mean before I got pregnant. Ben and I have very different religious beliefs. I was brought up in a very Catholic family (I have eleven siblings as evidence to that) and up until about three years ago religion was a very important part of my life. I enjoyed going to church, I enjoyed reading the bible, I liked the majority of the experience.
Lately though I’ve been re-examining what Religion really means to me. I fell out with the Catholic church because of a variety of reasons but the main reason was that it was no longer offering me what I needed, so I went in search of something that would. I’m still looking.
So why is this so important now? I decided about two years ago that it didn’t matter to me if I was married in a Catholic church or not. Parts of it still appeal but it wasn’t everything I wanted. What I could never decide though was what would happen to my children.
Parts of me still want my children to be baptised while other parts don’t and I know that Ben isn’t going to be convinced of the merits of baptism.
There isn’t just the value of religion to be considered but also of acceptance within my family. I don’t want our baby to be outcast, although I’m sure that that isn’t the case. Every one of my nieces and nephews is baptised, I’m even godmother to Nicole, and I know how important that is to my mum and dad.
I just don’t know what my real feelings are about religion anymore. I guess the ideal I held as a child no longer exists but does that mean it doesn’t exist at all for me? I just don’t know how I feel.
