I used to talk to People With Children as if they had all been reading the same book: The Talking To People Without Kids book. They would tell me about kindergarten, injections, clothes and various forms of liquid waste. It was quaint and a bit boring.

Now I find myself paying special attention to them. Especially how they relate to their children. How they deal with different situations and what that seems to say about them and their offspring. Mostly I’m applying my understanding of the world to their situation. Which is totally unfair, but rather entertaining; in an It’s going to happen to you too, buddy! kind of way.

I know that my perspective is going to change as the day-to-day challenges morph from Help Emma to Help Emma and the baby to just Help!, as most of the parents I have talked to have delighted in telling me. However, what do they know?

They made their decisions and stuck with it – bully for them! – but are those decisions the right ones for us? It’s hard to tell. They seem to be taking rational and well thought out control of their lives. They seem to be doing a right thing (as opposed to THE right thing, which no-one will be particularly specific on) and that seems to be working out okay. I mean;

• their kids are alive (and that’s good, right?)
• their kids seem normal (but what’s normal?)
• their lives are fairly uncomplicated (Are the kids asleep? Okay, let’s take a break!)
• they are pretty happy (but a little sad at having lost their old sense of freedom)
• everything finishes at 7pm (The kids need to go to sleep)

So what’s the problem?

Everyone has an opinion. For each person who says, “Go Left!”, I can find someone who says, “Go Right!”. This isn’t advice, it’s propaganda!

I have a feeling that no matter what book/person/gypsy I consult the only person who has the answer is me.

And that makes me a responsible parent (to be).

Oh. I get it.

Image by marklarsen (Flickr).