I haven’t been writing much lately. I know. Finding the energy required to put thoughts on a path (that are worth reading) about has been too difficult. Weird things have been happening.

For instance; During the whole process of sitting in the hospital waiting to find out what’s going on I was able to put all my energy into helping Emma quell her rapidly deteriorating stoicism (if that’s a word). There was nothing I could do to save the baby, but this girl, right here, was well within reach and 100% worth it. I wasn’t thinking about “what if”s. It was about right now.

And because of that the news of the baby wasn’t terribly important.

The implications and effects were important, but discovering there was nothing left to do gave me great freedom to choose what to do next. Save my cheerleader; save my world.

Because. Actually. We CAN have another baby, but there will never be another Emma.

I’m not sure how people will take that. It doesn’t truely matter. What matters (to me) is that Emma is alive, sane and close.

Focus is important, sure. Focusing ON the important is critical.