Archive for March, 2010
The smartest PE teacher ever
Today I met the smartest PE teacher I have ever met. I know that that statement in itself sounds redundant, as the old saying goes “Those who can’t do, teach. Those who can’t teach, teach PE” but he had a plan for his life, one which he was living with great vigour and was happy to share with those who would listen.
The plan went like this:
Every pay date he would put 20% of his pay into a separate account which could not be accessed. He would work at a school for five years teaching quite happily but then every five years he would take a year off, open that account and live off a full years salary for a year. In that year he could do whatever he wanted, even work if he wanted, but more often than not he would take the money and relax. Here was the smartest PE teacher I had ever met.
The plan is simple. Instead of living within your means, live just below it. Too many people even after receiving a pay rise still find themselves at the end of their pay week completely broke and looking back on what they spent their money on and finding they have regretted their purchases.
Another thing I noticed about him was that he was the youngest looking 57 year old I had ever met. He still had the passion to teach and had not allowed the years of putting up with teenagers, parents and other teachers crap wear him down.
This plan might not work for everyone but it was working for him. Here was a man who was taking control of his life and doing what he wanted to do instead of what everyone expected of him. He is still able to do all the things a man on a full wage is able to do, like looking after his family, paying the bills and going on holiday, but every five years he gets what can’t be bought…freedom.
Image by MigRodz (flickr)
I find it hard to listen.
I didn’t come to this realisation easily. It was only recently, in fact, that I accepted the above statement. I was reading through a workbook we were given at the Catholic Marriage Education Services course last weekend.
From the book (which they got from somewhere else):
When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice; you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way; you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem; you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen!
All I asked was that you listen, not talk or do – just hear me.
Advice is cheap and I can do for myself; I’m not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself; you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But,
when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling. And, when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.
So please listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn; And I’ll listen to you.
[I changed some punctuation and emphasis, but it's essentially the same. There are many versions on the internet]
So yesterday I practised when Emma was telling me about how she felt. I found it really difficult to just accept what she was saying and respond in kind. I’m not sure how the whole thing was received and problaby won’t be for a few days or weeks, but I’m going to give it more time.
Obviously I need more practise!
Image by fofurasfelinas (flickr).
Ben has been giving me the following advice for a long time now and it has been incredibly difficult for me to understand let alone apply. It wasn’t until two days ago when I had an awful lesson with one of my classes that I realised the truth behind this advice and how applicable this advice was to my life. I could finally start to take the first steps to apply it.
These kids I was teaching had no comprehension of taking control of their lives. They were content with blaming all their misfortune on others leaving them to feel guilt free. They had no direction, no understanding of what a gift they had been given. I started dispensing the following advice, advice that Ben had given me, and at the moment it started to click for them it also clicked for me.
The only person in this world who can change your life is you. Everything that happens to you in your life is a direct result of a choice you made. Think about what power this realisation can hold for you. You have the power to change your life into something you can be proud of.
1. Who am I?
2. What is important to me?
3. What do I want to do with my life?
If you can answer these three questions with conviction then you can start to change your life. you can begin to live the life you want to live, instead of the life you believe you are expected to live.
Nothing is impossible.
Take the time to reflect on these three questions. What would your answers be?
Within the classroom the kids started to think that this was another “What do you want to be when you grow up” lessons. They were reluctant until they started thinking beyond the classroom walls. It was interesting to hear what real dreams they have for their lives. Dreams beyond “I want to be a mechanic”. There were honest thoughts coming out and they stopped thinking about what they thought I wanted to hear and concentrated more on what they wanted to say. It was a wonderful breakthrough.
Image by Paolo Margari (flickr)
It has been a long debate inside my little head, long before I got pregnant in the first place, of whether it is possible to achieve all the things you want to do in your life at the time in your life that you want to achieve them.
At the moment I am torn between many things, two of which are the desire to go travelling and the desire to have a baby.
I’m pathetic! If you saw me at the moment you would probably want to slap me I am so disgusting. I have turned into one of those women who can’t walk past a baby (or even baby socks if we really want to get down to it) without making a “Ahhh isn’t it cute!” noise. I am that annoying woman who insists on holding strangers babies at dinner parties and barbeques. When it comes down to it I really just want a baby of my own.
On the other hand though I want to travel. I read lonely planet books like magazines, I envy Sally’s blog of her travels, I constantly put imaginary dates and destinations into internet flight centre search engines. I just want to travel. Throw on a backpack and go and see the world.
But how can I fulfill both desires? The want to have a baby right now and the want to see the world right now.
When it comes down to it really I’m just impatient and I want everything now. Before babies and before travelling I need to first learn patience.
After spending the last 10 days focusing on training camp at all costs, I have returned to work. I am pleased to report that nothing seems to have changed. How weird. I was almost completely non-contactable and the company didn’t self combust.
I guess this happens all the time. It must be the reason people spend so much of their time working at work.
You’re all mad, you know. Absolutely mad.
I really liked the focus I maintained while at training camp. Train hard. Maintain energy. Avoid major damage. At the end of it all there was a big pay off, one I hope to build on as the next year progresses. It’s all so different to work!
Average attention. Average effort. Average payoff.
Something must be done!
