Well the wedding has been and gone, so has the honeymoon and it seems the next logical step in this thing we call marriage is building a home together. Ben and I have been living together for some time at Ben’s house, I own a house too but mine is currently rented to help us out with the bills. Ben has made space for me in his home, giving me shelves in the cupboard and some space in the kitchen for some of my stuff but on the whole it has still felt like I am living at Ben’s house rather than us having a home together.

One thing we have done to help rectify this situation was to buy a wardrobe big enough for us both to fit our clothes into and Ben allowing me to change the downstairs room into a sort of ‘playroom’ for me, housing my TV, DVDs and Wii. What this has actually meant though was four trips to IKEA to buy not only the wardrobe, but doors for the wardrobe (once we could afford them) and a sofa bed for downstairs. The last week has been a slow transformation of the house.

IKEA furniture is notoriously tricky to build. The instructions seem simple but for some reason we always manage to skip a step or think we know a shortcut only to find ourselves having to dismantle the whole thing and start again. Ben and I managed to survive the ordeal with only one real argument, a feat which I am quite proud of.

Ben was holding the incredibly heavy door up off the ground while I attempted to manoeuvre it into the slot on the hanging rail. It seemed like a good idea at the time but a boy under that much strain can only last for so long and the the cry of “Quick! Put the quilt under the door before I drop it on the floor!” was met by me panicking. I realised that the quilt was stuck under the other door where it wouldn’t budge, I grabbed the next thing I could find which was a cardigan. I mistook Ben saying “Yes! That will work!” for sarcasm and promptly threw the cardigans back on the bed and then freaked out when he yelled at me to put them back. I started crying at being yelled at, Ben got frustrated at me thinking he was being sarcastic and the door wasn’t even in place! Ten minutes later and after seeing the situation from both sides we talked it out and got the door on properly this time. Our marriage had survived IKEA furniture!

So the transformation is slow but I am starting to feel more at home. It is the little things that make it for me, like furniture we have purchased and built together. Next week we will have new bed sheets too, some that we both like! Even silly little things like being shown how to use Ben’s super fancy vacuum cleaner, the dishwasher or the washing machine. Being helpful around the house had made me feel more like I belong and that it is my home too.

It may seem trivial for some but it is important to me and I think Ben is starting to understand that too.

Image by Listen Missy! (Flikr)