Well August has now been and gone and there was no phone call from Universal Studios to say that I had a job as a performer. I would be lying if I didn’t say I was upset by this. I was incredibly upset. There has been massive mood swings from me over the past few weeks, I have honestly been quite unbearable and I love Ben even more (if that is possible) for putting up with me when I am sure no one else would. Every day when the phone had not rung I would get depressed. I would be optimistic in the morning that “Today will be the day”, but by the afternoon that optimism will have changed to incredible darkness and depression. It was hard and now it is kind of relieving to know that there is some closure to it all, even if it isn’t the result I dreamed of.

So on to the next plan. I sent off an application for AIM (Australian Institute of Music) to study Musical Theatre. I even got back into my singing practice yesterday driving my neighbours nuts with voice exercises and varying performances of “Much More” and “Far From the Home I Love”.

In addition to auditioning for different courses I am working on my singing so I can finally record some performances and put my singing up on YouTube for everyone to see. Most of my friends have never heard me sing, or have only heard me at brief intervals usually after a night karaoke and cocktails. I also want to get fit and record some dance performances but that is a little further off. I want to get the singing done by the end of November at least.

This has been difficult but I feel stronger and more determined because of it. The last few weeks I have been unable to see any life beyond Universal. I was convinced that it was my only way out, now I can see a future beyond this and I am determined to succeed.