I sang my three pieces for my exam and felt amazing. I was incredibly happy with how I had performed. I had the right amount of nervous energy to get me through but not so much that it interfered with my breathing. For the first time in the past few days I felt happy about singing again. I had done that performance exam for myself and not for anyone else.

After I had finished singing I was a little bit surprised when the head of Classical voice asked if I would mind her having a chat with me. A look of terror must have passed over my face but I said “Sure. That would be great.” I was prepared for the worst, a list of reasons as to why I hadn’t been offered a place into university something along the lines of:

• You’re too old
• We don’t see any potential in you anymore
• It would be a waste of our time to teach you
• You haven’t improved
• You don’t have the right attitude to be a performer

Every single negative thing I could think of passed through my mind in the split second between the words “Chat” and “Sure”. I sat down a little apprehensively, and suddenly lost the ability to speak.

“You’re probably wondering why you weren’t offered a place in the Bachelor Course.”

I nodded

“It was a very difficult decision to make. Linda (my vocal teacher) and I spent a good amount of time discussing your situation. You have a good voice. There is no denying that. What we wondered though was whether this is the right place for you?”

Cue big puppy dog eyes and a sudden urge to start crying.

“We could keep you here for the next three years and you would come out as a very fine singer but you would also come out a lot older. Most of the girls going out into the profession are your age or a couple of years younger. So we thought, why delay.”

A stunned expression then crossed my face mixed with a tiny bit of confusion and hopefulness.

“Your voice is ready now to go out and work as a singer. We are prepared to help you as much as we can, starting with getting you an audition with the new Music Director for the state Opera. We believe that you are mature enough and you have demonstrated to us your ability to learn from watching and participating whenever an opportunity has arise. We think you would learn a lot more through singing in the Opera chorus and working your way up through the ranks, the more traditional route you could say.”

My mouth has dropped open and I don’t know who to look at.

“We will help you prepare for the audition, you can continue singing lessons here with us and we will help you in any way we can. If you decide that actually you’d like to do the course than we are happy to offer you a place instead. So what do you think?”

It suddenly occurs to me that I need to speak coherently.

“I can’t believe this. The last five days I have been going over and over in my head “What did I do? What didn’t I do? I didn’t know what had happened”

“You did brilliantly at your audition, the improvement from the beginning of the year has been wonderful. Even from the audition to your exam today there has been a huge improvement. You work hard and it shows.”

The rest of the conversation sort of tapered out into discussion of where to go from here. I would have to email them to let them know if I wanted to go ahead with the Opera audition or if I wanted a place in the course. I couldn’t stop smiling and by the time I had reached the door to the Music Auditorium I was in tears.

At the bottom of the stairs was my accompanist, Tim and a friend who had his exam next, David. They both looked really worried at my crying. They both knew I hadn’t got into the course I so desperately wanted to get into. All I could stammer was “They told me why I didn’t get in.” and then I explained about the Opera and the option I had been given. Their faces went from worry to happiness. Ben was there too and I hugged him with excitement, I then hugged them both too.

I was so happy! My life is taking a huge change of direction.

Photo of me taken on my way home from the exam. I couldn’t wipe that smile off my face all day!