Posts from ‘relationships’
Sleep…sleep…sleepy…exhausted
The last few weeks Ben and I have been pushing ourselves a little too hard. Currently I am performing in a production of “Fiddler on the Roof”, while also choreographing the musical “Nine”. Ben has been coming along to “Nine” rehearsals to help out and this has often resulted in him helping out on nights when I am not there too. What this has added up to is two very tired people.
It is production week this week for both shows, they both had their preview tonight and they both open on Friday. As you can imagine there have been a lot of last minute rehearsals happening in a desperate attempt to get things ‘perfect’. This week alone we have been to one rehearsal or the other (or in the case of Sunday both) every day. It has gotten to the point now though when we need to stop. The exhaustion has set in. It is time for a break.
I think the worse thing in all this is that Ben and I don’t seem to be spending as much time together as we usually do. We have also taken to sleeping in separate beds because we seem to get better sleep when there isn’t another body in the bed, and with sleep eluding us we will take what we can get. It isn’t ideal but it works.
I miss waking up and having our slow sleepy mornings together, sharing breakfast together and talking about the day.
I miss coming home at night and spending time unwinding, listening to music, going to the movies or watching a video.
Most of all I miss Ben. We don’t haven’t seen each other much the last two weeks. Hopefully once the shows open we can get back to being awesome together. Because we are pretty damn awesome.
I have been busy. I have been happy.
I continue to be happy, being busy; fixing things.
I have joined the Stage Wives club of Emma’s amateur theatre group and subsequently needed to find something to do to keep me interested enough to maintain “Wonderful Husband” status.
I’m hooked!
After establishing my foot hold in the tea peddling business I started to mooch around, looking for other seemingly mundane tasks to appropriate, largely so I didn’t step on anyone’s toes (These theatre people do seem a little delicate at times!) I annexed General Kitchen Duties into my portfolio and from there I started to realise how much background work goes in to a production. And then how much would be required to make it a good production.
Now I have
- Helped Emma describe what she wanted from the actors (it was largely interpretive, but now has definite direction);
- Painted large chunks of the set;
- Fixed the “broken” curtains (it’s not perfect yet, but we know the solution now);
- Thrown out a pile of junk that people were too tired to bin (seemingly years ago, in some cases) and;
- Have made commitments to help with rigging lights and possibly learning how to use them.
What I used to view as a Bizarre Fetish of My Wife is now understandable, albeit from under a workman’s cap and tool-belt. It’s the sheer amount of outstanding items on their To Do list. There always seems to be something they need a volunteer for, so I have solved my boredom dilemma. Nothing is so important that I can’t stop to spend time with Emma, when she is available, and it’s a lot of fun helping out. I understand why people join volunteer groups now.
Vive l’espirit de corps!
Why am I the one who always has to change?
Uh oh, here’s trouble. I have come across this question pretty often in fact, it used to be one of my favourites. I think it’s a personal growth milestone of some kind. I remember being the poster boy for this phrase not so long ago (well, okay, a couple of years back).
I’m going to try to explain an answer. Strap yourselves in, it’s going to be bumpy!
Has anything ever worked out for you? Have you ever had something work out better than expected? Maybe? Okay, so let’s change this litte bit here…
Why am I the one who frequently has to change?
When you say “change”, it sounds like a bad thing? Do you mean you don’t like it when you get better results? So those are okay, so you really just don’t like it when you don’t get what you want, but only when you get less than you want? Can we make another little change then?…
Why am I the one who frequently has to be satisfied with less than I wanted?
Is this still what you are talking about? Can we make another teeny, tiny substitution?
Why am I the one who frequently has to be satisfied with less than I expected?
Now we are getting somewhere! What you seem to be saying is that you don’t like it when your results fall short of your expectations. So, if you were making a cake, it sucks when it doesn’t rise after you followed the instructions? Can I run with that for a second…? What if you missed a step? Would you be disappointed if it didn’t work out after you missed a step? Not really? What if the instructions weren’t complete? Same thing. Alright, what if someone gave you the instructions? like they wrote them down for you and handed you the note and, for some reason, not everything was on the piece of paper? I mean, it’s not like they did it on purpose; they were in a hurry; the kids needed to be fed; they got the recipe from a friend over the phone because they couldn’t find their own copy and that’s where they got it from in the first place….
That would be understandable then? Hmmm… interesting… Can I wave the magic wand for a second?
Why am I the one who, after following these incomplete instructions, frequently has to be satisfied with things don’t go as I expected?
Weeeeeeeell, that was a bit of a jump, let’s just cement that in with this quick question: Do you think anyone actually has a sure-fire, 100% guaranteed recipe for any of the things that are going awry in your life? Other than cakes, of course!
If I asked you this question, what would your answer be? Pretty obvious now, huh?
The real fundamental shift you have to make is realising that at no stage, no matter what you think, have been told or might infer from stories of success, do you have The Full List of Instructions for Success. At best you have The Partial List of General Steps to Someone Elses Definition of Success.
Until you write the book yourself. But that’s another post altogether.
Image by Monazza Tahla (Flickr)
Well I’m making friends all round today!
Yesterday one of the local amateur theatre companies that I have worked with before sent out a newsletter and it was for want of a better word…shit. It had spelling mistakes all through it, it was highly negative, there were sentences that didn’t make sense and very little information about anything the club was doing or had done. Even the updated version she sent a couple of hours later had text boxes overlaying one another so it was completely unreadable. It pissed me off. So I reformatted the thing, fixed the spelling mistakes, the grammar mistakes, made it positive, added a review about their latest show “The Importance of Being Earnest”, put some stuff in about their upcoming auditions and wrote a little thing about a director the club has worked with who recently passed away.
Today I got a response which was incredibly rude and I think if she had wanted to would have contained the phase “fuck off we are doing great”. I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t expecting a “Oh Emma thank you! You are our saviour!” but to get angry at someone for offering assistance? WTF! I could have sent the thing to the whole mailing list if I wanted to but I didn’t I sent it just to the theatre manager to which she got angry and pissed off.
Why do I even bother? Why do people immediately get defensive and pissed off when someone offers assistance? Is it better to discourage people from helping so that your pride isn’t hurt or is it better to actually admit that you need some help and be appreciative of it when it is offered, especially when it isn’t asked for?
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe we should only offer help to those who ask for it. Maybe I am a self important bitch who thinks I know better when in reality I’m not seeing the whole picture. Maybe I should just shut up and keep my opinions to myself. Maybe I should just watch people destroy themselves and learn from their own mistakes rather than trying to help.
If the response is going to be anything like the one I received from this woman I am not bothering anymore. This club is dead set on destroying itself because it won’t admit that it is in trouble. It would rather go on thinking it is doing fabulously than actually accept that it is headed for a massive disaster. All I offered was help and instead of a thanks but no thanks, I got completely shat on.
It’s just not worth helping people anymore.
Image by la_sara (Flikr)
Well! Date Night was a great success after a patchy launch.
Possibly I should have not invited other people along at the last minute, that’s true, but without their presence we would not have ended up watching “So, you think you can strip?” (The first amateur male stripping competition in Perth) at the end of the night.
Details huh?
Okay, here’s a quick synopsis of the night:
Ben and Emma race home from work early, but traffic is insane and it takes Emma 1.5 hours to make it back (three times the usual). Ben tells Emma that they will be joined at dinner by a work mate and her “man bag” friend, who is gay, but that’s okay. Emma is secretly upset by this but gets ready anyway. Ben thinks things are going great. It’s time to leave (+5 minutes) and Ben is made aware that Dates don’t involve other people, but he recovers gracefully and our intrepid couple makes it to the restaurant before the other pair.
Dinner goes swimmingly, largely helped along by two bottles of very nice wine and a single glass of real, actually french, champagne. The food was fantastic as well, but they run out of time to try dessert. Dessert is reprised at another establishment, to great applause and general frivolity, until finally the group moves on to the nightclub. Almost. There is a quick dash back home to get a passport because a wallet was left at work, during which the young married couple discusses marriage and how much fun it is to be leaving early while the single folk stay on at the (probably) raging club.
They make it back in time to catch the judging of the first round of stripper hopefuls, drinks are appropriated and the show continues. There are terrible, terrible strip shows and some good ones, but generally it was great fun. Especially the part where one of the contestants, desperate for applause and probably drunk on all the screaming females, “accidentally” get’s his junk out and prances about the stage like he’s hung like a horse. He is not. No matter though, the crowd goes nuts anyway, possibly to make up for his.
The professional strippers who are promoting the show put on one of their own on. They are, of course, significantly better than any of the contestants. Judges announce the winner and our married couple, having had a nice dinner; fun conversations; and oddball (literally) entertainment, call it a night.
Perhaps we aren’t so “old” after all.
