Posts from ‘work’
Shakespeare
I am teaching a class of year nine students an introductory unit on Shakespeare. This is painful in itself because Shakespeare has the unfortunate reputation among students of being difficult, boring and completely irrelevant to their lives. In order to get these ideas out into the open I like to start the first lesson with students completing a brainstorm of everything they already know about Shakespeare. They are allowed to write anything they want from titles of plays to their own feelings about the bard.
As I was explaining to the class about what they needed to do a hand shot up in the air. I said I would answer questions after I had finished explaining. During my instructions I wrote the word “Shakespeare” on the board and demonstrated what they needed to do. After I had finished I asked were there any questions to which the same girl from before put her hand up and asked “How do you spell Shakespeare?” The whole class looked at her until she realised that her question was now redundant seeing as I had written the word on the board for them.
Points to this story. Sometimes things may seem vitally important one moment and insignificant the next. You need to pay attention to what is going on around you or you could make a silly mistake and embarrass yourself or simply just waste your time. Just because you have your mind on one thing does not mean you can’t keep an eye on the bigger picture. Oh and everyone should learn how to spell Shakespeare.
Image by ugardener (Flickr)
I’m avoiding something. I know it.
How do I know? Because
- the house is a mess;
- I can’t focus on anything;
- there are late payment reminders;
- I have unanswered emails in my inbox(es);
- and I’m doing a lot of wandering around without accomplishing anything.
Time to stop.
Write the list out.
And get back some control.
Edit: What do you know? 5 Minutes after writing this, the car finance broker rang me to remind me to make a decision and also insure the car. Who says the Universe doesn’t deliver?
I teach a class of boys who I affectionately call my gum nuts, named after Gum nut Cottage in the mockumentary “Summer Heights High”. They are nice boys on the whole but mainstream schooling does not sit well with them. Every school has these kinds of students. They are usually labeled as trouble makers, lazy, incompetent, criminal or a waste of time, and on first inspection that is exactly what they seem to be.
For the first two terms of this year these boys were a burden. They have tired me out and exhausted me. I have planned brilliant lessons which other classes would thoroughly enjoy but this class would take these lessons and destroy them. They wouldn’t listen to directions, they would talk back, in some lessons they wouldn’t even sit in their chairs. It was tiring and I had had enough.
This term I decided to take a different approach. I talked to them. I listened to their stories no matter how idiotic they were. I didn’t judge them but rather offered suggestions on how they could improve their situations. I laughed at things when they expected laughter. I didn’t berate them or talk down to them. I treated them as equals and as a result they treated me as an equal too, instead of the enemy.
In return they completed their school work.
Yesterday was a break through with these boys. They have spoken to me before about things that have been going on but yesterday there was real trust. They told me about what they were hoping to do with their futures and it was fascinating to listen to. For one boy he was leaving yesterday as he had been accepted into an apprenticeship position and he shared his happiness with me. They were also in a bit of trouble with one of their teachers because she believed they were responsible for stealing a key which unlocks the schools laptops. They were frustrated at the fact that they are always the first ones to be blamed.
I guess the point to all this is that I have changed by knowing these boys and I would like to think that they have changed because of me. They have never had an adult listen to them and see them for something more than delinquents, and I have never really taken the time to get to know students this way.
These boys are the reason I am staying.
Well I’m making friends all round today!
Yesterday one of the local amateur theatre companies that I have worked with before sent out a newsletter and it was for want of a better word…shit. It had spelling mistakes all through it, it was highly negative, there were sentences that didn’t make sense and very little information about anything the club was doing or had done. Even the updated version she sent a couple of hours later had text boxes overlaying one another so it was completely unreadable. It pissed me off. So I reformatted the thing, fixed the spelling mistakes, the grammar mistakes, made it positive, added a review about their latest show “The Importance of Being Earnest”, put some stuff in about their upcoming auditions and wrote a little thing about a director the club has worked with who recently passed away.
Today I got a response which was incredibly rude and I think if she had wanted to would have contained the phase “fuck off we are doing great”. I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t expecting a “Oh Emma thank you! You are our saviour!” but to get angry at someone for offering assistance? WTF! I could have sent the thing to the whole mailing list if I wanted to but I didn’t I sent it just to the theatre manager to which she got angry and pissed off.
Why do I even bother? Why do people immediately get defensive and pissed off when someone offers assistance? Is it better to discourage people from helping so that your pride isn’t hurt or is it better to actually admit that you need some help and be appreciative of it when it is offered, especially when it isn’t asked for?
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe we should only offer help to those who ask for it. Maybe I am a self important bitch who thinks I know better when in reality I’m not seeing the whole picture. Maybe I should just shut up and keep my opinions to myself. Maybe I should just watch people destroy themselves and learn from their own mistakes rather than trying to help.
If the response is going to be anything like the one I received from this woman I am not bothering anymore. This club is dead set on destroying itself because it won’t admit that it is in trouble. It would rather go on thinking it is doing fabulously than actually accept that it is headed for a massive disaster. All I offered was help and instead of a thanks but no thanks, I got completely shat on.
It’s just not worth helping people anymore.
Image by la_sara (Flikr)
Ben pointed something out to me the other day that I hadn’t noticed, at least not for a long time. In amongst all my troubles with school, feelings of not belonging and general stress about what the future is going to bring, I have still been able to be so exited and happy that I can’t sit still. These moments don’t happen very often but they can be pin pointed to times when I have either just finished singing at the theater, after a rehearsal for Fiddler on the Roof or when I am listening to Britney at home.
The things that make me happiest are all linked to my love of theater, performing and music, but then how do I bring this happiness out so it isn’t so sporadic? I miss being happy. The kind of happy I remember from being a kid. Where school was exiting and playing outside in the sun or the rain was joyful.
Have I just gotten old?
Have I forgotten how to be happy?
Have I forgotten how to play?
or Have I decided that these things aren’t as important as the responsibilities I now have as an adult?
Yesterday I spoke to Ben about these ponderings and together we have decided that it is time that we did something about our future together. We love the time we spend together but we are fairly unsatisfied with the other parts of our lives. I want to feel happy again. I want to feel that what I am doing with my life is fulfilling and exciting.
Image by WarzauWynn (Flickr)
