Posts from ‘work’
Having a Whinge!
All year our school timetables have been a mess because there have been more classes scheduled then there are rooms available. At the start of the year twice a week I didn’t have a classroom because of this problem.
“Don’t worry! In term three the new building will open and you will have your own classroom and you won’t be trekking all over the school anymore!” cried the school principal.
A loud “Hooray!” was heard from the faculty at this declaration, but I must have missed the post-script. Not only do I not have my own classroom but I am now in a classroom block which is the furthest away from my office. “Boo!” was my reply.
I thought “It must just be a mistake! I’ll talk to the guy who does the room allocations and he’ll sort it out!”
My optimism was in vain. Not only did he know about the problem with my classes being so far away but he was not going to do anything about it. “Grunt…grunt…grunt…” and a shuffling of the feet and he had managed to palm the problem off to someone else who was equally disinterested in my problem.
What pissed me off the most is that out of my department I am the only one who has been kicked out of our department block. I am also the only one who doesn’t have a room of my own. “Hrmm…” I think “Me smells a little bit of kiss-arsing going on.”
I have always heard of teacher’s pets and favorites in the classroom, I just never realised that it extended to the teacher’s as well. Another reason why I no longer have a desire to teach, at least not at this school.
My solution to the problem? As of tomorrow I am moving offices. “Goodbye up yourself snooty English Department. Hello awesomely cool and laid back Society and Environment department!”
Image by rsgranne (Flikr)
Last week I attended auditions for Universal Studios Singapore. It wasn’t my first audition and it probably won’t be my last, but looking around the room and listening to some of the conversations that were taking place it became very apparent that for a lot of the people there it was their first audition and many of them were learning what it means to audition while they were auditioning.
So I decided that it would be a good idea to put together a little list of things that I have learned over the years that have helped me in any audition situation. Some are blindingly obvious but others you don’t realize their importance until it is too late.
1. Know what you are auditioning for!
When I turned up for the Universal Studios auditions there was a lady in front of me, well into her late thirties. She had received a call the night before from her agent informing her that there were auditions on for singers. With no information beyond that, she promptly turned up and then proceeded to ask everyone who would listen to her what the audition was for. It became apparent to her after entering the holding room and seeing that everyone was under thirty and dressed to dance that she was not at an audition she was suited for.
2. If there is an audition brief read it until you can memorize it and bring it with you to the audition!
Universal had four different shows they were casting each requiring a different skill set. They had a monster show which was very hip-hop based and pop rock. Then there was the Kowabunga Kove show which was loosely based on the musical Hairspray and featured a lot of 50′s dance moves and cutesy bubblegum tunes. Then there was the Madagascar show which is all suit work and the Shrek 4D show which required excellent impersonation skills. Knowing what is on offer will help in your performance and shows that you want to work for them.
3. Don’t limit your options by only rehearsing for the roles you want!
On my audition sheet I had put that I wanted to audition for the Monster Rock Show and the Kowabunga Kove Show. In addition to looking at these two shows on YouTube and researching the role requirements, I also researched the other shows and characters I didn’t think I was suited for (either because I was too tall, short, no the right skin colouring etc). It paid off when I was asked to read for the role of Betty Boop. I had watched a couple of cartoons on her and was familiar enough that I surprised the audition panel with a good rendering of a Brooklyn accent.
4. Wear something appropriate!
There was a number of girls who turned up for the dance part of the audition in crop tops, fishnets and micro shorts. Universal is a family orientated theme park, dressing like a stripper did these girls no favors (in fact a number of them were asked to put shirts on before being allowed to audition). Remember what you are auditioning for and let that steer your wardrobe choices. Also try to wear something distinctive like a bright colored shirt or leotard, avoid all black and writing on shirts. Anything that draws the attention away from you like funny pictures or slogans is never a good idea.
5. Wear the same outfit to each call back!
Where possible wear the same outfit to each callback. At the Universal Studios auditions there were over 100 different girls auditioning. by wearing the same outfit to each callback the audition panel has an easy reference to who you are and will remember you much easier. Remember you got a callback because they liked what they saw, so don’t change it!
6. Give an opening night performance!
Rehearse your piece so much that there isn’t a chance in the world that you will stuff up. Your performance should be as polished as it would be on opening night. The audition panel wants to see what you have to offer so you want to offer your best.
7. Don’t engage in gossip or idle chit-chat in the holding room!
That doesn’t mean you have to tell people to piss off if they try to be friendly, just remember that you are there to audition not to catch up on what happened on the weekend. Keep your focus and concentrate on the job at hand.
8. Warm-up properly!
It can be daunting to start warming up your voice in a crowded room but believe me it will make life so much easier for you. As soon as it was announced that we would be singing first I took my vocal exercises warm-up tape into a corner and started to warm up. I felt ridiculous calling out “I love to sing” into a crescendo but it made me feel so much more at ease when it was my time to audition. You really need to forget about everyone else and just concentrate on yourself.
9. Be nice to everyone, not just the audition panel!
Some auditions will have a PITA inspector in the holding room. They will look like a normal auditionee but they are there to determine if you are going to be a Pain In The Arse or not (hence PITA). Don’t put people down, don’t bitch about other auditionees, don’t say how unfair it is that you had to dance before you sang because you are a much better singer, don’t be rude to the girl at the front desk, just be nice. You will have to work with others if you get the contract and no one wants to spend months on end with a person who can’t go a couple of hours without bitching and complaining.
10. If you are sick, then you are sick!
If you are sick it is okay to tell the audition panel, but only tell them once and once only. You don’t need to tell anyone else and the last thing people want to hear is the same sob story about you being sick over and over again. Auditioners, especially singing auditioners can usually tell when a person has a cold. If you are too sick to audition, put it down to bad luck and stay home. No one wants a sick person at the audition.
Smile and do your best! In the end remember that the audition panel wants you to be good. They are there to find the best people to fill the jobs they have on offer. They don’t want to see people who are nervous, scared, not confident, bitchy or any of the rest. They want you to be amazing…so go be amazing!
Another funny school story. Please be aware that this story is a little crude which just shows you what kind of a girl I really am.
I haven’t been feeling very well as of late. My tummy has been a little bit up and down and as a result I have had the worst farts. I am talking majorly smelly, would kill the cat if it was stuck under the blanket at night when I let one of these sneak out. The good thing is that unlike most of the students that I teach I can manage to hold my bodily gases in until a suitable moment when I am either alone or at least outside. There is nothing worse than being stuck in a room with 32 year nine students as a fart creeps around the room.
Anyway, today in English I couldn’t hold it in anymore. My tummy was hurting so bad and with one minute until the bell was due to go I decided something had to be done. I have a particularly disgusting boy, Jack, in my class who finds it highly amusing to fart during class as loudly as possible just to draw attention to himself. Today was payback. I took a casual walk around the room tidying up chairs as I went, picking up a piece of paper or two and then as I approached his desk I let the silent little fart slip and continued on my merry way.
Within three seconds the boys in that corner were all blaming Jack while covering their mouths and gasping for air. I had to try so hard not to laugh as to reveal my guilt. It was too good.
It just goes to show that any situation can be made positive. I had a sore tummy and managed to get not only payback but a laugh out of it too.
Today was reporting day at school. That means the last day before the school reports for the semester get printed. In reality though it means the last day for me to finish marking all those hundreds of essays, posters, oral presentations and reading journals that have piled up on my desk with the intention of “I’ll mark it later.”
I knew I wasn’t ready for today. I panicked on Friday and spent my two free periods, lunch and some time after school finishing off marking Year 10 exams. Then exhausted I carried an armful of year 9 essays home with me with the intention of marking them ‘sometime’ on the weekend. 9pm last night I realised I hadn’t done a damn thing about them and tried in vain to get started. By the time I started marking the fourth essay I was drifting off to sleep, exhausted from having worked a 9 hour shift at my other job.
Why do I do this to myself? I always have the best laid plans to be organised but other, more important things, always seem to get in the way. In the end I did get all the essays marked and got my marks into the computer in time, but that meant allowing one of my classes to have a ‘reading lesson’ in the library while I frantically finished off the last ten essays in the pile.
The funny thing is I feel fantastic now knowing that it is all out of the way and my next lot of marking isn’t until after the holidays. Why don’t I get organised in time so I can still have this feeling of relief and happiness, without the feelings of stress and that dreaded “Oh my God! I am never going to get this done in time!”
Someone once told me that the reason we leave things to the last minute is because we thrive on that feeling of panic. It makes us feel alive for those few frantic hours where we wonder “Will I make it?”. It is the closest most of us will come to having an emergency. It’s our Bruce Willis moment, we’re looking at the bomb ticking down to zero, not sure if we should cut the red or the blue wire. One is going to save us the other is going to blow us sky high and end the movie pretty quick.
I could have done without the drama this week. Next time be more organised….I’ll believe it when it happens!
Image by Pragmagraphr (flikr)
Today was another one of those days. I feel fed up at work. I want to be doing something else, the problem is I don’t know what. I don’t want to work just to pay the bills and at the moment I feel like that is all I am doing. I’m impatient. I want things to change now and I know that they won’t. These things take time.
Why am I always so frustrated with myself and what I am doing? Do I expect more to have happened to me by now? I haven’t exactly had a dull life but then I haven’t really had an overly exciting one either.
Maybe I just whinge too much.
