Posts Tagged ‘children’
Bi-Lingual Kids are Awesome
When I was in high school there were a number of people in my year group who could speak more than one language. They would speak one language predominately at home when around their family and another language when they were at school amongst there friends. It was pretty cool to watch and listen to and I was always envious of those people who could do that. I was also very curious as to how it was done. My curiosity has now been fed.
I mentioned in my last post that Ben and I went to visit a friend of his. This woman is amazing. Not only does she have two kids but she also performs, something that I one day hope to do also. What I didn’t mention though was the fact that she is Russian while her husband in of Chinese descent.
As parents they have made a conscious decision to have their children grow up to be bi-lingual. The mother only speaks to the children in Russian while the father speaks to them in English. It was fascinating to listen to especially as their three year old sat next to me on the couch and proceeded to babble to me in a combination of both.
I was at a loss for words. I understood parts fo what she was saying to me but for the most part I may as well have been talking to a puppy. She would look at me longingly, clearly not understanding the idea that I didn’t speak Russian, and why would she when the majority of the people she spent time with could speak Russian to her and understand every word that she was saying back.
I really want my children to grow up being able to speak more than one language. This year as part of my studies at university I have to learn a language. I have chosen French as I have done a little bit of it in the past, hopefully I stick with it and do well. I want to do well. Now I have a bigger goal, not only for myself but for my future kids too.
Ben took me to visit an old friend of his. He had been trying to get us to meet for some time due in part to the fact that I had now married him and that this friend had not met me, and because I and this friend had the shared interest of performing. I think on some level he was hoping for us to hit it off and start organising concerts together, that isn’t off the table yet but I still need time to get a little more confident before I launch into that sort of thing. I will admit now that I was a little intimidated by her immense talent for playing the piano. I can barely stomp out a rendition of happy birthday while she could play you every classical piece of music ever written by memory.
I am really glad I met her. Not only because of the potential for us to perform at some time in the future, but also because of what I learnt from watching her interact with her family and from some of the things she said.
Firstly she has two small children, remarkable children in fact but that is going to be the topic of my next post when I get around to writing it. I think I can safely say that she has sacrificed a lot for the sake of these kids, things like being able to go to Europe and perform or casually throw everything in to see how far she could get as a performer, but then I don’t think she would have it any other way. She really loves her kids and has managed to work her performing around them.
Having children is hard. We had only come over to visit for afternoon tea but we were soon invited to stay for dinner. It was around 6pm when we were asked if we wanted to stay so we accepted. Then things got interesting. Firstly the kids had to be washed, then fed, then read bedtime stories, then taken to the toilet, then put to bed, then taken to the toilet again…I think you get the idea. It was three hours before us adults could sit down and eat. How did she find time to organise anything with that sort of schedule just for bedtime?
I still really want kids but I don’t want to give up everything for the sake of them. Ben and I have still decided to wait at least until I finish this course this year. I don’t want to use my kids as a reason for not doing what I want to do. I am the kind of person who will tie myself to one place, if Ben would let me, and forget about all the ideas and dreams I had. I would talk myself out of things and I would use kids as an excuse. For that reason I am not ready yet to have the children I still really want.
It was an interesting evening where I got to see how one family was dealing with the little things life throws at them. I think I learnt a lot, and the rest I am still figuring out.
Image by Irina
I was on the train watching a little boy have a great time cooing to himself and then bouncing a few loud ones off the back of the cabin. He giggled to himself after listening to the echo of his latest sound exploration. It seemed like he was having a ball.
The mother, on the other hand, was not; she was constantly telling him to “be quiet” or “stop that” and, having not gotten the requested response, just kept repeating herself while blowing rasperies in his ear between cautions. It was most bizzare. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what she was actually attempting to do; play with him or tell him off.
Why do parents in public with children insist that they be quiet? Why are they embarrased about their kids? And why do they try to secretly reward them when they are outwardly telling them off? Such confusing messages must only serve to tell the kid(s) that their parents are insane and can generally be ignored, which doesn’t seem to be a terribly good lesson.
I guess I just won’t understand until I have one of my own.
Image by Lars Plougmann (Flickr)
I used to talk to People With Children as if they had all been reading the same book: The Talking To People Without Kids book. They would tell me about kindergarten, injections, clothes and various forms of liquid waste. It was quaint and a bit boring.
Now I find myself paying special attention to them. Especially how they relate to their children. How they deal with different situations and what that seems to say about them and their offspring. Mostly I’m applying my understanding of the world to their situation. Which is totally unfair, but rather entertaining; in an It’s going to happen to you too, buddy! kind of way.
I know that my perspective is going to change as the day-to-day challenges morph from Help Emma to Help Emma and the baby to just Help!, as most of the parents I have talked to have delighted in telling me. However, what do they know?
They made their decisions and stuck with it – bully for them! – but are those decisions the right ones for us? It’s hard to tell. They seem to be taking rational and well thought out control of their lives. They seem to be doing a right thing (as opposed to THE right thing, which no-one will be particularly specific on) and that seems to be working out okay. I mean;
- their kids are alive (and that’s good, right?)
- their kids seem normal (but what’s normal?)
- their lives are fairly uncomplicated (Are the kids asleep? Okay, let’s take a break!)
- they are pretty happy (but a little sad at having lost their old sense of freedom)
- everything finishes at 7pm (The kids need to go to sleep)
So what’s the problem?
Everyone has an opinion. For each person who says, “Go Left!”, I can find someone who says, “Go Right!”. This isn’t advice, it’s propaganda!
I have a feeling that no matter what book/person/gypsy I consult the only person who has the answer is me.
And that makes me a responsible parent (to be).
Oh. I get it.
Image by marklarsen (Flickr).
