Posts Tagged ‘doctor’
How am I feeling?
How am I feeling?
I have been asked this question so much in my life and answered it without really giving it much thought, and let’s be honest, most of the time the person asking this question doesn’t really care how you feel they are just being polite or asking out of habit. Lately though I have had to ask myself how I am feeling and actually take the time to listen to what my mind, body and heart is telling me.
Ben and I have been through a lot in the past few days. There have been times where minutes seemed to span into decades where nothing seemed to ease the pain, where all I wanted was to open the door and run away until this situation we are in was a million miles away. There have also been times of happiness as we dream about the future and hope for a day when the pain will no longer be our defining feature. We have spent time together and time apart to come to terms with how ourselves and each other is dealing with the news that we won’t be parents just yet.
Today was a turning point. We attended the hospital again for confirmation that I had miscarried and were able to talk over the situation with a doctor and actually start on some sort of recovery. It was hard to be told once again that the pregnancy wasn’t viable but having had four days to come to terms with the news was actually starting to look like a blessing. I was still sad but no so overwhelmed that doctors and nurses voices were a blank murmur to the pain swelling up inside of me.
We are at home now. Ben is resting and I am slightly drugged up while waiting for the misoprostol to start to take effect. It is a strange sensation but no worse than bad period pain. I’m still waiting and not entirely sure how I will react once it starts to work and my uterus empties. It is a sad thought but then I am looking at the positive, that we can try again.
It is all hard but easy, sad but happy, draining but invigorating, and the end but also a new beginning. We have become a lot closer out of this situation and much more capable of coping through difficult situations together. We are recovering.
How am I feeling?
I’m not entirely sure yet but holding out for a future where I can answer quite confidently “good”.
Image by Dave77549 (Flickr)
The new doctor is fantastic. He was patient, he listened to our questions, he understood our situation and actually listened to what we wanted to do. I feel so much better. It is amazing how something like finding a nice, helpful doctor can change the situation. Before the visit I was very scared. I had no idea what we were going to do and a lot of our choices were based on what we wanted with no idea of whether they were actually able to be done or not. Now I feel much more at ease.
After the appointment we went and looked at baby stuff. I was very happy and excited after the good appointment that I wanted to do something fun. I’ve been looking at baby stuff ever since I found out I was pregnant but had never been with Ben before. It was very eye-opening.
Ben and I have very different ideas about what babies do and don’t need. I have had sisters and brothers who have had babies and to be honest I have based a lot of my ideas on what babies need from watching and learning from them, but then even they have stuff I don’t think babies need.
A couple of things we have decided we don’t need include a baby bath and a pram. We don’t need a baby bath because Ben has a very large sink which can be used to bathe the baby in and once the baby grows out of that he has a regular bath too. I never had a baby bath and I know a few of my sisters never had one for their kids, and the way I figure it, it is just a big bucket anyway.
The pram though is a different story. I don’t like the idea of those massive prams which are as big as a cot. Ben and I figure the baby is that little that it would probably be easier just to carry the little tacker than deal with carrying a pram everywhere. What I do want a pram for though is when I want to take the baby for a walk. I know that walks are more for my benefit, to get fit again, but I would like a small foldable pram for the baby that I can just push him or her round the park in. Once it’s big enough to walk though, it’s walking. I detest the way some children are pushed around until they are six years old, it’s ridiculous. My niece is four and she is more than capable of walking the 1.5km to the shops and back without doing any permanant damage.
Just checking in to report that the new GP we visited today was infinitely more likeable and patient with us than the previous one. So we have switched! It’s a really big deal for Emma, because she feels more comfortable with the new GP, and I am really glad that she will be able to relax and enjoy future visits. There was even a blood test that didn’t cause tears (Emma doesn’t like needles much).
I’m really glad we were able to find another GP quickly. I didn’t think it would be a real issue, but having done it now I do actually feel some tension lifting.
To celebrate, we went to browse through baby paraphernalia at the shopping centre and WOW; did I learn a lot!
Yippie!!!
All the confusion I had with the first doctor has now been sorted out after two very simple phone calls. We had decided a couple of weeks ago that we wanted to go to a public hospital and after a lot of advice from sisters, friends and research we decided on Osborne Park Hospital. The question was “What do we do now?”
I rang the hospital, after looking on their website and found I had three options. Either the hospital could do everything, I could have shared care with a GP and the hospital, or The GP could look after everything. Seeing as I had no GP I figure letting the hospital take care of everything would be the easiest option. The very helpful lady I spoke to at the hospital said all I would need was a referral from a GP and the hospital would be able to take over my care from 16 weeks. Until then I would need a GP for a monthly check-up.
Yippie!!!
That was where Ben came in. He rang the surgery where I had the last appointment and played up the dumb male angle to which the receptionist seemed to warm to. She made me an appointment with a antenatal care specialist doctor, which will hopefully be more successful than the last appointment.
I feel much better and very relieved, almost like things are starting to go in the right direction. I’m no where near as confused as I was before and feel a lot less stressed out.
Yippie!!!
