Ben took me to visit an old friend of his. He had been trying to get us to meet for some time due in part to the fact that I had now married him and that this friend had not met me, and because I and this friend had the shared interest of performing. I think on some level he was hoping for us to hit it off and start organising concerts together, that isn’t off the table yet but I still need time to get a little more confident before I launch into that sort of thing. I will admit now that I was a little intimidated by her immense talent for playing the piano. I can barely stomp out a rendition of happy birthday while she could play you every classical piece of music ever written by memory.

I am really glad I met her. Not only because of the potential for us to perform at some time in the future, but also because of what I learnt from watching her interact with her family and from some of the things she said.

Firstly she has two small children, remarkable children in fact but that is going to be the topic of my next post when I get around to writing it. I think I can safely say that she has sacrificed a lot for the sake of these kids, things like being able to go to Europe and perform or casually throw everything in to see how far she could get as a performer, but then I don’t think she would have it any other way. She really loves her kids and has managed to work her performing around them.

Having children is hard. We had only come over to visit for afternoon tea but we were soon invited to stay for dinner. It was around 6pm when we were asked if we wanted to stay so we accepted. Then things got interesting. Firstly the kids had to be washed, then fed, then read bedtime stories, then taken to the toilet, then put to bed, then taken to the toilet again…I think you get the idea. It was three hours before us adults could sit down and eat. How did she find time to organise anything with that sort of schedule just for bedtime?

I still really want kids but I don’t want to give up everything for the sake of them. Ben and I have still decided to wait at least until I finish this course this year. I don’t want to use my kids as a reason for not doing what I want to do. I am the kind of person who will tie myself to one place, if Ben would let me, and forget about all the ideas and dreams I had. I would talk myself out of things and I would use kids as an excuse. For that reason I am not ready yet to have the children I still really want.

It was an interesting evening where I got to see how one family was dealing with the little things life throws at them. I think I learnt a lot, and the rest I am still figuring out.

Image by Irina