Posts Tagged ‘focus’
Focus
I haven’t been writing much lately. I know. Finding the energy required to put thoughts on a path (that are worth reading) about has been too difficult. Weird things have been happening.
For instance; During the whole process of sitting in the hospital waiting to find out what’s going on I was able to put all my energy into helping Emma quell her rapidly deteriorating stoicism (if that’s a word). There was nothing I could do to save the baby, but this girl, right here, was well within reach and 100% worth it. I wasn’t thinking about “what if”s. It was about right now.
And because of that the news of the baby wasn’t terribly important.
The implications and effects were important, but discovering there was nothing left to do gave me great freedom to choose what to do next. Save my cheerleader; save my world.
Because. Actually. We CAN have another baby, but there will never be another Emma.
I’m not sure how people will take that. It doesn’t truely matter. What matters (to me) is that Emma is alive, sane and close.
Focus is important, sure. Focusing ON the important is critical.
While secretly reading the internet at work (I had reached my Stupidity limit and needed to take time out) I came across this article about How To Focus On What Truly Matters which is becoming more and more important to me these days. The clarity of the announcement moment has worn off slightly and while I still view the world differently, I realise that my actions have not changed all that much.
I am able to choose what is important to me right now and that is a good thing, but I haven’t put any thought into what my life will be like in 10 years.
In 10 years time, I’ll have a 9 year old! Maybe an 8 year old too!
The gravity of the situation is only now starting to sink in. The joy and excitement too.
It feels strange to be making decisions about another person’s life when I have only recently learned how to do it for myself though. So, for the next week, I will spend the first 30 minutes of each day thinking about what truly matters and then do something about it. I’ll post up the results and the end of the week and revise them monthly, to keep things current.
It seems like the least I can do for my kid(s).
Image by Chris Runoff (Flickr).
