Posts Tagged ‘hospital’
All clear
We have been given the all clear, the grey blob is now a white line (apparently that is good) and we no longer have to make appointments at the hospital which I was growing to really despise. I hated the sitting in the waiting room watching people come and go with babies. I hated being escorted into the little room and having to wait even longer while you could hear people chatting happily outside. I hated the sad looks the doctors would get on their face as they looked at the ultrasound screen and realised they had to deliver bad news. It was all too much and every time I had an appointment my emotional levels were uncontrollable.
Being told that everything was back to normal and we wouldn’t have to come back lifted such a weight. It was like being told that horrible time of my life was now over and I could move on with happier things. I know I will still be affected from time to time by the things that have happened but that knowledge that we could look forward to something other than hospital visits meant the world for me. It was what I had hoped they would say every time I walked through the hospital doors.
In short…I’m happy and I think Ben is too and not just because I won’t have a weekly excuse to play bejewelled blitz on his iPhone.
Image by Bebulaki (flikr)
How am I feeling?
I have been asked this question so much in my life and answered it without really giving it much thought, and let’s be honest, most of the time the person asking this question doesn’t really care how you feel they are just being polite or asking out of habit. Lately though I have had to ask myself how I am feeling and actually take the time to listen to what my mind, body and heart is telling me.
Ben and I have been through a lot in the past few days. There have been times where minutes seemed to span into decades where nothing seemed to ease the pain, where all I wanted was to open the door and run away until this situation we are in was a million miles away. There have also been times of happiness as we dream about the future and hope for a day when the pain will no longer be our defining feature. We have spent time together and time apart to come to terms with how ourselves and each other is dealing with the news that we won’t be parents just yet.
Today was a turning point. We attended the hospital again for confirmation that I had miscarried and were able to talk over the situation with a doctor and actually start on some sort of recovery. It was hard to be told once again that the pregnancy wasn’t viable but having had four days to come to terms with the news was actually starting to look like a blessing. I was still sad but no so overwhelmed that doctors and nurses voices were a blank murmur to the pain swelling up inside of me.
We are at home now. Ben is resting and I am slightly drugged up while waiting for the misoprostol to start to take effect. It is a strange sensation but no worse than bad period pain. I’m still waiting and not entirely sure how I will react once it starts to work and my uterus empties. It is a sad thought but then I am looking at the positive, that we can try again.
It is all hard but easy, sad but happy, draining but invigorating, and the end but also a new beginning. We have become a lot closer out of this situation and much more capable of coping through difficult situations together. We are recovering.
How am I feeling?
I’m not entirely sure yet but holding out for a future where I can answer quite confidently “good”.
Image by Dave77549 (Flickr)
The results of last night’s trip to King Edward Memorial Hospital are that it looks like there is no baby any more.
It all has to be confirmed on Monday, to be absolutely sure, but the final word was that there is a sack that the baby would grow in, but no heartbeat. There is no 12 week old person in there either, so it’s not certain what actually happened, or when.
All that I know is that I have Emma here, right now, and she is very sad.
It IS very sad, but we have had some amazing experiences in the last 12 weeks which are not diminished by this news. I know that Emma’s sadness will pass and we will maintain an even greater bond within our relationship. We road tested a pregnancy and I think we did pretty damn good; it didn’t work out, but we passed the tests with flying colours.
There is still tomorrow.
Emma rang me tonight from work, crying. Can I come pick her up, details when I get there.
Zoom!
She’s bleeding a little. What’s a little? What’s a lot? Do I ask? Should I know this? Okay. Hospital. Right.
At the second hospital (one for girls only) we got smuggled in to the back room where various check-up type questions and tests were performed; including the dreaded Pap Smear. We are currently waiting for a qualified person to wave the magical ultra-sound wand.
I still have roof tiles stacked on the roof. It’s not going to rain. It doesn’t matter anyway.
We are in the clear so far. It’s good.
Yippie!!!
All the confusion I had with the first doctor has now been sorted out after two very simple phone calls. We had decided a couple of weeks ago that we wanted to go to a public hospital and after a lot of advice from sisters, friends and research we decided on Osborne Park Hospital. The question was “What do we do now?”
I rang the hospital, after looking on their website and found I had three options. Either the hospital could do everything, I could have shared care with a GP and the hospital, or The GP could look after everything. Seeing as I had no GP I figure letting the hospital take care of everything would be the easiest option. The very helpful lady I spoke to at the hospital said all I would need was a referral from a GP and the hospital would be able to take over my care from 16 weeks. Until then I would need a GP for a monthly check-up.
Yippie!!!
That was where Ben came in. He rang the surgery where I had the last appointment and played up the dumb male angle to which the receptionist seemed to warm to. She made me an appointment with a antenatal care specialist doctor, which will hopefully be more successful than the last appointment.
I feel much better and very relieved, almost like things are starting to go in the right direction. I’m no where near as confused as I was before and feel a lot less stressed out.
Yippie!!!
