Basically the class involves the students singing an aria and a vocal coach then walks them through piece by piece covering things like motive, intention, vocal delivery and character arc. In the class tonight a heavily pregnant girl was performing and every time she breathed in her whole pregnant belly would lift until she had finished singing the phrase, then it would abruptly drop. It was the weirdest thing to watch and unfortunately very funny. So there was a whole lecture room trying very hard not to laugh at the most obviously funny thing.

I swear I only giggled once, I managed to hold it together unlike the girl in front of me who was crying into her hands.

One suggestion was that we wait a year. This would give us a chance to save some money, organise our houses a little better for having a baby, go on holiday and do the travelling we want to do before we start having babies (not that we are going to suddenly stop holidaying but it is a little difficult to do things like skiing with a belly the size of a pig). Waiting will also afford us, and especially me, the time to come to terms with the loss of the last baby and take some time to emotionally heal. I am still hitting those puddles of goo, not as often as before but they are still there.

Another suggestion was to start trying again after the wedding. A compromise of sorts between trying again immediately and waiting a year. One of the reasons we are getting married is because we wanted to raise children together and create a family. It means a lot more to me to be married before we start having babies. It also means I won’t have to worry about not fitting in the wedding dress, not being able to drink at the wedding or what I can and can’t eat. I will be able to relax and enjoy the day.

The last suggestion was to try again straight away. I guess I am only in favour of this option because it would help to ease my mind. I feel at times that I have failed. that losing the baby is somehow a reflection of my ability as a parent. By becoming pregnant again, as silly as this sounds, would make me feel like I am able to be a mother. I am impatient and this option means I don’t have to wait.

There is no right time to start trying again. We’ll figure it out soon enough and be ready to celebrate being pregnant all over again.

Image by whatmegsaid (flickr)

At least I know Emma is safe from the Overmind’s control. Or do I? …