I got to school late and had to enter the staff meeting late, to which the principal throw a very dirty look at me. I was getting off to a flying start. I was then ignored by the deputy principal who I have been trying to chase up for a week now about having an induction to the school. I have been working there for three weeks now and still have not had an induction, something which is greatly concerning me because I still don’t know how the school is run, what resources are available or even what to do if I need to call in sick.

I then taught for two periods the most disorganized and uninspired lessons I have ever taught. If I’m not motivated to be at school it often shows in my teaching as it would for anyone in any occupation. I felt like crap for doing this. I like teaching and I like teaching good lessons but these were just terrible.

I then got back to my office to find a message on my phone from Western Ultrasound. They wanted to know why I hadn’t come in for my ultrasound that morning. An appointment I had asked Ben to cancel over a month ago and which he assured me he had. As soon as I heard the message I burst into tears.

My mind went into overdrive thinking about how far along I would be by now, how big my tummy would be, what I would be able to see on the ultrasound, the sex of the baby, finally having a picture of the baby to show everyone, everything to do with the baby and the expectations of having a baby came flooding back and I couldn’t handle it.

All I wanted to do was run away and get back into bed with that little cat from the morning. Forget what had happened and start the day again.

I hate these little things popping up all the time and wonder when they will all stop because on days like this it really is too much to handle.