Posts Tagged ‘wedding’
Wedding revisited
Five months!!! Ben and I have been married for five months, well actually a little bit longer if you want to get pedantic about it, but WOW! That seems huge. So why the sudden realisation? We attended our first wedding as a married couple together on the weekend, and it was beautiful. It also helped us to revisit what was a very special day for us.
Everyone says that you don’t remember much of your wedding day. It all goes by so fast and most events throughout the day become a blur. It’s true. A lot of our wedding was a blur of meeting people, smiling for photographers and attempting to get fed. Sitting back and B & D’s wedding gave us the opportunity to remember the more important things that happened on our day.
Firstly our vows. I loved the way B & D wrote their own vows. It was cute and heartfelt and very “them”. Ben and I didn’t write our own vows, but we still made the same promises. We vowed to love, honor and cherish each other. We promised to find the good in each other and work together as a family. Hearing B & D make these same promises reminded us of what we had said on that day. It also helped us to put into perspective all the troubles we have been through in the past year and realise that we are doing a damn good job upholding those vows.
The ceremony was beautiful. They tried to make it very individual with things that were uniquely them. They had a hand fasting ceremony and even set aside a time for their daughter A to be welcomed as part of the family. It was well thought through and made the day even more special. I think that is important. We shouldn’t get caught up in trying to do what everyone else has done and do it our own way. I think when Ben and I got married that we successfully did the things we wanted to do.
I guess really I am just feeling a little squishy and sentimental. I am very happy I married Ben.
Image by TiffanyDawnPhoto (Flickr)
It’s all done and dusted. We’re hitched. We’ve flown the coup. We, the undersigned, are in this together.
The wedding, photos and reception were fantastic fun – you should have been there. The conversation; the speeches; the dancing; the bride; the groom; the guests; all perfect.
And now, sitting in a donut shop under a staircase in a shopping mall in Singapore, we are falling asleep.
Perfect :-)
This is my Now. What’s yours?
I have been under a lot of stress lately. There has been general unhappiness at work, the wedding, and every day life all piling up on one another and I am not coping that well. About four weeks ago little spots started appearing. First of all I had one on my face. I went to the chemist assuming it was ring worm (I do live with two cats after all), got some cream from the chemist and thought nothing more of it.
Over the next few days a couple more started appearing on my neck, this was actually funny because they resembled hickeys and I work in a highschool (for the record I haven’t had a hickey since uni). As you can imagine not many people were willing to believe that it wasn’t a hickey, so instead I suddenly felt cold enough to start wearing scarfs to school again.
Then they spread, from a couple of marks to now hundreds all over my chest, stomach, neck, legs, arms and back. I look like I have contracted plague and they are so incredibly itchy. All the doctors can tell me is it is:
- Not contagious
- Will go away in about six weeks on its own
- Is caused by stress…”Do you have anything to be stressed about at the moment?”
It sucks! So on the wedding day the spots that aren’t hidden by my dress will be covered with a good layer of make-up.
Wouldn’t you know it, I have had these spots once before in my life. Right before my year 12 ball when I also had to leave on an athletics team trip on the same night (okay so maybe I was a little bit stressed out then too). My theory is I’m just allergic to wearing expensive dresses, that, or looking pretty!
Image by Emma (my spotty belly and back!!!)
I feel like I haven’t written on here for a very long time which really upsets me because writing is one thing that I actually really enjoy doing. The last two weeks have been a mess of stress over the wedding. We thought we knew what we wanted and thought that we would get what we wanted, instead we have realised that the wedding isn’t about what we want but about what everyone else expects.
I can’t count the number of conversations I have had with people in the last two weeks which started with “What do you want?”, proceeded by us telling them what we want, then them launching into a twenty-minute argument into why we can’t have what we want (quite often for the ridiculous reason of “It’s traditional to do it another way”) and then finishing with the sentence I hate the most, “Whatever you two want to do, it is your day after all.” I just want to scream! Why are people bothering to ask us what we want if in the end they don’t actually want to do it our way but have already formulated in their heads what is going to happen.
Basically it has boiled down to the fact that we aren’t going to play into it anymore. If we are asked what we want and then the asker has a different idea, we’re not getting into the argument anymore. Some would see this as giving up. We see it as the path of least resistance and really in the end all that matters is that we both stand up on the 16th of May and say “I do”. Everything after that is a bonus.
Getting married was a good idea. Having a wedding was more than we bargained for.
Image by BrittneyBush (flikr)
Ben and I had a conversation on the weekend about when we are going to try again to have a baby. What conclusion did we come to? That there is no right time for us.
One suggestion was that we wait a year. This would give us a chance to save some money, organise our houses a little better for having a baby, go on holiday and do the travelling we want to do before we start having babies (not that we are going to suddenly stop holidaying but it is a little difficult 
to do things like skiing with a belly the size of a pig). Waiting will also afford us, and especially me, the time to come to terms with the loss of the last baby and take some time to emotionally heal. I am still hitting those puddles of goo, not as often as before but they are still there.
Another suggestion was to start trying again after the wedding. A compromise of sorts between trying again immediately and waiting a year. One of the reasons we are getting married is because we wanted to raise children together and create a family. It means a lot more to me to be married before we start having babies. It also means I won’t have to worry about not fitting in the wedding dress, not being able to drink at the wedding or what I can and can’t eat. I will be able to relax and enjoy the day.
The last suggestion was to try again straight away. I guess I am only in favour of this option because it would help to ease my mind. I feel at times that I have failed. that losing the baby is somehow a reflection of my ability as a parent. By becoming pregnant again, as silly as this sounds, would make me feel like I am able to be a mother. I am impatient and this option means I don’t have to wait.
There is no right time to start trying again. We’ll figure it out soon enough and be ready to celebrate being pregnant all over again.
Image by whatmegsaid (flickr)
